The 4 Communication Styles – What They Are & Why It Is Handy To Know Them

Have you ever met someone and just ‘clicked’? You probably felt like old friends and chatted comfortably. That’s probably because they shared your communication preference. Quite literally that means they used words, images, and gestures that you could really relate to. In essence, they spoke your language. And since you spoke theirs, communication flowed easily and effectively.  

Yet the reverse is also true. When you’ve encountered someone with a different communication preference, you may have found it difficult to talk to them. Did they bore you with details? Was their speech too fast? Too slow? Or did they simply not stop for breath? Whatever your communication gripe, the real issue is that they weren’t speaking your language.  

Once you can recognise someone’s communication style, you can talk to them in their language. And you’ll also be able to interpret what they are really saying. Goodbye misunderstandings. Hello effective communication. 

Visual Communicators

Visual communicators pay most attention to what they are seeing. They often think fast, move fast and talk fast. The reason they move and talk so quickly is because they are literally telling you what they are seeing–both outside themselves and internally as they see it. They may bounce from one thing to another, with noted enthusiasm.

How to Communicate with a Visual Communicator: 

·      Speak their language e.g. “Let me show you what I mean”.

·      Speak quickly and audibly (match your volume to theirs) and get to the point, quickly.

·      Show them something tangible e.g. Here’s the cover for your new book. I printed it out for you so you can see what it looks like.

·      In written form, keep your information or request short, clear and direct. Excessive detail overwhelms them.

·      If you have to give them detail, keep it brief, then sum up and take them back up to the bigger picture e.g. ‘So, your day looks like this. You’ve a meeting at ten to discuss the conference. 

·      When giving directions, draw them a map, give them landmarks, and even the map reference so they can see for themselves.

Auditory Communicators 

Auditory communicators pay most attention to what they hear. Their voice is modulated and even, and often sounds rather melodious. They care about how they sound and they care about how other people sound to them. They are excellent listeners, and are often the person people go to, to share problems.

How to Communicate with an Auditory Communicator: 

·      Speak their language e.g. Let me tell you what I mean. Here’s some words and sounds to demonstrate my idea. Listen to this. This will place you in rapport with them.

·      Be aware of the words you use. Using words you know are their “triggers” will place you out of rapport with them.

·      When giving directions or instructions, you can tell them. They will recall most of what you’ve said.

·      Be aware of your voice volume and tone. Keep it even, modulated and pleasant. If needed, listen to their voice, and use that type of voice back to them.

·      Avoid speaking to them if you are angry or frustrated, even if it is at someone else. They may not be able to get past your “tone of voice” to hear what you are saying.

Kinesthetic Communicators

Kinesthetic communicators pay most attention to what they are feeling. They often move and talk slowly. The reason they move and talk slowly is because they need to process everything through their feelings. It takes longer to do this than to simply process a thought, word or image.

How to Communicate with a Kinesthetic Communicator:

·      Speak their language e.g. Let’s get a feeling for this. How does this sit with you? Do you get it?

·      Acknowledge their feelings as valid and real

·      Where appropriate, allow them to be “hands-on”. See their need to touch an item you are demonstrating or get up lose to your presentation as in indication of their interest.

·      Some kinesthetics may need regular work breaks to stretch or take a brisk walk.

·      If there is tension in your environment, allow them time out to process how they’re feeling.

·      Lower your speed and tone of voice to match theirs. When you ask a question, allow them time to process before answering.

·      Be patient if they seem slow. You may need to slow yourself down to stay in rapport.

Data-Digital Communicators

Data-digital communicators pay most attention to data, facts and figures. Their voice is often monotone, with little fluctuation in tone, and their gestures are minimal, because they easily disassociate themselves from their emotions, and their body.

How to Communicate with a Data-Digital Communicators:

·      Speak their language e.g. ‘I understand’ and ‘Let me get that data to you.’ ‘Thanks for the information’.

·      Speak at a moderate, even pace and keep your voice monotone.

·      Avoid excessive hand gesture or movement

·      When interacting in a work situation, give them the information they require. They do not need an emotional story to accompany it.

·      In written form, keep your information or request brief, and only give the information required.

If you want to be a confident communicator, you need to understand how you communicate and you need to understand how others communicate.

When you understand a person’s communication preference, you understand their behaviour, their thinking and their communication needs. Then you can communicate with them in a way they need, in a way they process, in a way they see and hear and understand.

Excerpt from ‘Confident Communication for Leaders’ by Carol Fox & Kathryn Gorman