A Letter To My 21 Year Old Self
A few months ago, award winning author and co-founder of SheEO Kim Chandler McDonald reached out to me and asked me to be a part of her latest project 'Postcards From Tomorrow' - a book compiling letters written by an inspiring group of women to their 21-year old selves in support of Lou’s Place, a refuge in Sydney for female victim’s of domestic violence.
Here's the letter I wrote to my 21 year old self:
Hey Carol,
I know you are busy training for board and ski events in Surf Lifesaving, being a paid lifeguard as well as finishing your Phys Ed degree whilst working 2 part time jobs – phew! So I thought I might take a moment to interrupt your busy life to share what I wish my future self would have told me when I was your age:
1. Be kind to yourself
I know people have been mean to you – it is because they are threatened by your abilities. Self-love must start from you. Love and appreciate who you are and what talents you give to the world. You have so much to contribute and the only person holding you back is you. Release those negative thoughts about yourself and be kind to yourself.
2. Be kind to others
It is so easy to find the bad in others and join in on the bitching – or even start it (eye roll).
Look for the good in people or find the lesson of why they are in your life. We are all here to teach each other – some positive lessons and some negative lessons – be grateful for those lessons because they serve you in your life. And please be compassionate with people – they are often doing the best they can and need some space and love and support- especially those who don't look like they need it at all.
3. Go with the flow
You will get very tired fighting the world and raging when things don’t go the way you think they should. Let go of control (especially those things you have absolutely no control over) and trust your intuition rather than thinking everything through.
4. Shine a light instead of fighting
Especially in regards to equality for women. When you fight the unfairness, and call it out in an angry way, then people stop listening. Find a way to shine the light on unfair situations – most people don't know they are doing it in the first place.
Also, learn what to fight or advocate for and recognise when you need to let it go and have someone else take up the fight.
You don't have to do it all on your own.
5. Family and Friendships are worth investing in
Some of the best moments in my life - where I have cried from laughing so hard (and had a good cry as well) have been with my crazy, fun, supportive, brilliant and loving friends and family.
6. Focus on the positive outcomes rather than the negative
You actually get to decide what you focus on! How cool is that?!
So, when you feel anxious about a race, a social event, flying or even speaking in public, - realise that you can only be anxious because you are focusing on what you don't want to have happen. Focus on the positive outcomes and it will help remove that anxiety.
P.S. Remember those times when you would go into a panic attack about speaking in public? Well, guess what? You are now a professional speaker, MC at events and interviewing panellists as well as being one! Cool, hey?
7. It’s not always all about you
When people are mean to you and have “interesting reactions” to what you do and how you are, please know that it is their “stuff” and not for you to take on. Have compassion for them and move on with your life.
8. Travel
You love it! Take those opportunities that are presented to you in your twenties. I know you have a terrible phobia of flying … but guess what? You come to love it, and to love the freedom flying gives you!
P.S. You love love love Europe and often feel at home there.
9. There is plenty of love to go around
I know you think love is finite. Yet did you know the more love you give it comes back tenfold? So, give it to those that matter and give it a lot.
You are very loved by so many people; – I wish you could see it at your age. You would be so much more confident, loving and happy in your twenties and thirties.
10. Have more fun and play!
We are here to enjoy ourselves, so go out and be a twenty-year-old who enjoys herself and her friends and what life has to offer instead of trying to conquer the world in all your endeavors and have it all happen now. Competing and training for so many years from a young age was exhausting for you so make up for that time and go play.
I love you, I am proud of you, I am always here for you.
Shine your light brightly.
X
Older Carol